EMPTY PRAISE ISN’T NICE
One of the challenges of being a self–proclaimed ”nice“ boss is that there are times when you have to say things that aren’t very nice to hear. If, for example, a writer gives us a script that we know won’t work for the client, it would be utterly foolish of us to say ”Wow, this is terrific!“ If the script doesn’t work, the script doesn’t work. Telling the writer anything else would be bad for our business and insulting for the writer. We’re extremely proud of our entire staff and think that they are top–notch, but no one can deliver knockout work all the time. Contrary to popular belief, false praise isn’t nice, but constructive criticism is.
We were reminded of the importance of being straight with our staff recently, after reading two columns about praise by the Wall Street Journal’s Jeffrey Zaslow. Zaslow describes how many bosses are flummoxed by the needs of young employees, who have been showered with compliments and trophies practically since birth. To keep the good times rolling, many companies are have instituted formal programs that offer employees awards and accolades for such feats as showing up to work on time.
But it turns out, the confetti tosses and gifts did nothing to boost the confidence of these young people. Just as giving every kid on the soccer team a trophy does zip for their confidence, cheering for a young co–worker for accomplishing a mundane task will not boost their self–esteem. False praise does not inspire; it insults.
Of course, we’re not advocating ad hominem attacks on employees either. We believe in telling the truth, but this doesn’t mean we’d throw a less-than–stellar script back at its writer and say ”This stinks! You call yourself a writer?!“ Instead, we would truthfully remind the employee that he has written many great scripts for us in the past, but this one isn’t quite up to his usual standards, and we’d offer specifics about why this particular script isn’t quite right for this particular client – in other words, feedback he can actually use.
No one is ever happy to be told to go back to the drawing board, but we have always been pleased by the maturity and grace with which our employees take constructive criticism. After all, these are smart, ambitious people. They want to get ahead, and to do that they need clear–eyed critiques, not stars and smiley faces.