OVERBURDENED KIDS HAVE NO TIME FOR GRANDMA

If we were different kinds of writers, we might begin this blog with a flashy, alarmist headline – like CHILDHOOD UNDER SEIGE! or THE WAR AGAINST KIDS! But we know that in the current debate about the state of American childhood there really are no bad guys – we all want this nation’s kids to grow up into adults who are happy, successful and kind.

However, we have noticed that there is a continued emphasis on the “successful” part, frequently at the expense of everything else. We live in a time when two–year–olds “interview” for pre–schools and 8–year–olds carry around day planners. Doctors are reporting a rise in anxiety–related disorders among kids, including insomnia, obesity and ulcers. That’s right – children are getting ulcers!

And these are not just the kids of hyper–driven type A parents. Across the country the academic pressure on kids is at an all–time high. Schools are even cutting back on recess! The Wall Street Journal reports that nearly a third of the nation’s elementary schools give students get less than 15 minutes a day of jump–rope and hopscotch time.

It’s not just kids’ personal happiness that is lost when they are overwhelmed by spine–crunching backpacks and Survivor–like races to prestigious universities. They also risk losing their sense of responsibility to anything other than their own academic success. What’s a parent to do when a kid figures out that they can get out of household chores by issuing the magic works “I have a test?” Do we really want a generation of kids who can ace their SATS but can’t write a thank–you note?

Kids need to know that there are things in life that are just as – if not more than – important as getting an A. Like spending time with grandparents, and participating in community and charity work (for its own sake, not just to put on a college application).

School administrators assert that rigorous testing standards have left them with little choice but to keep our kids’ noses in the books. But fortunately, many parents and teachers have started fighting back, issuing the battle cry of “Let our kids be kids!” The American Academy of Pediatrics recently released a report that argued that when kids lack unstructured playtime (as opposed to time in adult-supervised recreation like sports or dance lessons) they lose out on the opportunity to develop creative and social skills. After all, without any grown–ups around, kids are the ones who must negotiate the rules of cooties, as well as resolve disputes and philosophical differences about its transference.

Most parents probably aren’t thinking about the leadership skills their kids are developing while yelling, “Olly olly ox in free.” They just want their kids to have time to relax, goof off and enjoy their childhood – they want them to be happy.

Of course, if we want to instill this in our kids, we have to walk that walk ourselves. Unfortunately, if our children are turning into little achievement–machines they are perhaps only a reflection of the culture at large, which values career success over pretty much everything else. If mom and dad are burning the midnight oil at work and missing family events because of “important meetings,” then what’s a kid to conclude? If our culture defines success by the kind of car one drives rather than the amount of good one does, well then we shouldn’t be too surprised if the younger generation is overly focused on grabbing the brass keychain.

So let’s make sure we know when to put down the briefcases, as well as the books. Let’s log off the computer, and shut the office door. After all, it’s fall! The apples are tart, the leaves are golden and the bitter–cold days of winter will be here very soon.

Last one out’s a rotten egg.